Ralph Shadle

Ralph Eldon Shadle was born on July 26, 1929. He had a life well lived. When he passed away on Thursday, February 05, 2015, he was surrounded by those who love him. He is survived by his wife, Darlene, Sisters Leona Shadle and Darlene Adams, his two children, daughter Lynn Stevens, son Randy Shadle and his wife Denise. He was a loving grandpa to Stephanie, Jennifer, Angelina and Danielle. He also is survived by his six great-grandchildren: Avery, Tuff, Aidan, Sarai, Lucas and Austin. Ralph was the son of Clifford and Ada (Davis) Shadle. He grew up in Green, KS and graduated from Green High School. From an early age he had a love of the outdoors, and he helped on his family’s farm, even after moving to Clay Center to work at the Farmer’s Union COOP. He was a strong spirit who loved to work hard. In his professional life, he was a transport driver for many years, and then later a tank wagon driver. In this position he was able to deliver fuel to many area farmers. He retired from the Farmer’s Union COOP Service Station after an entire career spent with the company. Ralph was active in his community and was a very passionate and active member of the Masonic Lodge. He went through the lodge chair many times. He had a true dedication to the group. Ralph was a man who enjoyed the simple pleasures in life, like being surrounded by his family. He created his own happiness when he married Darlene. Ralph was married to Darlene for almost 56 years. They lived a beautiful life together. They raised a family together in a home that Ralph rebuilt from the ground up; a home that experienced years of happy occasions with children and grandchildren. In his later years he lived with Darlene in the Presbyterian Manor and spent the majority of his time making the nurses laugh and enjoying the company of those around him. Ralph is preceded in death by his parents, Clifford and Ada Shadle, his father-in-law, Charles Kellogg, his mother-in law, Laura Kellogg, his sister-in-law, Sue Sellars, his brother-in-law, Henry Adams, his son-in-law, Scott Stevens and a Grandson-in- law, Josh Avitia. As the patriarch of the family, he was a guiding force in the lives of his family and will be deeply missed. Thoughts from Jennifer & Stephanie It was Mohammed who said: “A person's true wealth is the good he or she does in the world.” Our grandpa did a lot of good. We believe his family is proof of that. We’re sure every person in this room has their own share of memories of him. As his granddaughters, we have our own, of course. We knew him for all of our lives, but only a portion of his, but we will do our best to share the impact he’s made on our family. Around us, he was generally a quiet man but he had a strong wit. He had a great sense of humor, but he didn’t dominate the conversation and spent a lot of time observing. Our dad is like him in that aspect. Our grandpa could seem very serious, but he could take you by surprise by easily slipping a joke or funny comment into the conversation that would have people laughing out loud. He had a big booming laugh and his eyes would light up. His whole body would shake when he laughed. His eyes were bright blue and they always looked like they were smiling (or up to something). Even after grandpa stopped talking, you could see in his eyes and his expression if he was amused or happy. He loved his family. He was insistent on how important family was and visiting regularly, and every Sunday at 6:00 p.m. he and Grandma would come driving down our dirt road and pull into our driveway in his little blue truck. We had family dinners together and spent each holiday together as a family. Many of these gatherings also included a hair cut for Ralph from our mom, his daughter-in-law, Denise. Family was very important to him. We remember summer barbeques in our backyard. We remember Christmas’, Thanksgivings, dinners at our great-grandmother’s house, and just regular family gatherings. They were all important to him, even the small get-togethers. Our mom and dad continued this tradition in later years, visiting weekly and sometimes staying for hours just to talk, catch up, and spend time together. The fact that he put such a strong emphasis on family is reflected in waves throughout our generations. Whenever Grandpa was struggling with his health he always asked to speak to our dad, who would immediately be there for him. They had a strong bond that didn’t involve a lot of words. They were usually surrounded by women who loved to talk (Grandma, mom, and us), so they probably didn’t need a lot of words, they got plenty from us anyway. Nonetheless, he loved all of us and later loved his grandchildren very, very much. He was so happy when he found out Stephanie was pregnant. He loved every picture he got of his grandchildren and treasured the time he got to spend with them. We always said when Lucas was a baby that he looked like Grandpa Shadle. They had the same smile. He loved playing with our dogs. Grandpa had farm dogs as a child, and he always loved spending time with our dogs when he would visit us. He was kind to them and you could tell they had a special place in his heart. He was well known in our family for the red hair he used to have, and his favorite color to wear was green. We doubt we will ever see a green plaid button up shirt again without first thinking of Grandpa. He had a strong affinity for chocolate, which we like to think is where we sisters get our incurable sweet tooth. He loved anything chocolate, and loved when we brought him dessert. When the family would get together for Sunday dinners he would enjoy sharing peanut buster parfaits with our mom. He also loved the pies our grandma and great grandma would make him. Types we used to think were strange, like rhubarb. But he thought they were delicious. He also loved ribs. He loved making them as much as he enjoyed eating them. He passed on ethics of value to his family. Hard work and dedication were traits he demonstrated in his daily life. He grew up helping on the family farm and later loved helping our dad on his farm. We remember taking meals to them in the field and grandpa and dad would be busy working together. When I, Jennifer, was younger, I used to mow the lawn for my grandma and grandpa. My grandpa showed me how to start a push mower by myself and how to go about mowing his lawn. I would walk around his yard mowing with my headphones on. I still laugh when I think about him watching me do this. One time he came out into the front yard and watched me mow. Picture him, outside without his shirt, monitoring my lawn mowing skills. I was so embarrassed at the time. That’s just the kind of man he was, he would give life his all, and appearance be damned. He was often in a work shirt and covered in dirt. He loved to build things. He had a workshop in his basement where he made all of his woodworking projects. We remember time spent in that basement. He worked hard making beautiful wood clocks that our family still has today and refinishing furniture. He made us a wagon that Stephanie’s sons now ride in and play with today. He would tackle pretty much any project. This is another characteristic he passed on to our dad, who in our mind can pretty much build anything he wants from scratch. Grandpa and Grandma lived in a house together in Clay Center that Grandpa later tore down and rebuilt from the ground up when our dad and our Aunt Lynn were young children. He provided a safe environment for his family that was quite literally built with love. He LOVED his garden. He had a pretty extensive garden that he cared for each summer. A lot of time and attention went into his gardening. We’re pretty sure Grandma and Grandpa had a sign hanging by their back door that said: “You can find me in the garden.” We always had fresh tomatoes from his garden at home while we were growing up. Our dad would slice them up and eat them by themselves; they were just that good. He loved going out to his garden and pulling onions and loved it when the family wanted anything from the garden. He reveled in his time spent there. We remember helping him in his garden as children. We imagine Grandpa’s perfect day may have been spending the day in his garden, or working on a wood project, or going fishing. We all started to keep our own gardens a couple of years ago. It makes us feel closer to God and reminds us of Grandpa. Hopefully this summer’s gardening will be full of healing and love as we think of him. Also, hopefully we become better gardeners. We’d like to think that is in our genes somewhere. He also had a grill in the backyard he enjoyed using to make meals for the family while my grandma cooked in the kitchen. His garage was filled with tools and fishing supplies, because he loved fishing very much as well. He would fish with us at our family pond. There was probably no time in life when he was happier than when he was outdoors. Someone I know who has suffered a lot of loss told me recently that when someone you love passes away, you will receive signs from them. She said, you will get them; you just have to be open to them. As we mentioned earlier, our grandpa used to drive a little blue truck. It was a very specific truck. You don’t see them much anymore, not the older models at least. After hearing the news from mom and dad the morning that Grandpa wasn’t doing well, I, Jennifer, was driving to work. I was thinking about my grandpa; what I would remember about him. A few things came to mind and then I was stuck. I was struggling to process what was happening. As I’m thinking this, angry with myself for not remembering more, I looked up at the vehicle driving in front of me. It was a little blue truck, almost identical to the one my grandpa used to drive. I laughed out loud. There was a memory and a sign, all rolled into one. He passed away that day, and then that night the moon was full. It was so incredibly bright in the middle of the night sky with clouds floating beneath it. We’d like to think those are our signs. We know he’s still with us, he will always be with us, and he is okay. Strong is how we choose to remember him. Grandpa lived out his later years at the Presbyterian Manor. Once it became clear that living there was long term, he made it his home. He enjoyed the people there and he enjoyed his life there. He liked keeping up with sports and the weather and he was always making the nurses laugh. They were kind to him and he loved the company. When we would visit him, staff members always popped in to check on him and talk to him. We could tell he was admired there. He got to spend his time there with our loving grandma. He was such a kind soul and made the best out of every situation and had a positive outlook on life. It is hard to watch someone slowly slip away from you, and that is a pain our family has endured for a while now. He was not able to express himself, but every so often we would get flickers of recognition and laughter from him. We would cling to the little moments when we got to see him be himself again. Grandpa has now been set free of the restrictions his body had recently imposed on him. We are sad. It’s hard to think we won’t get to see him anymore, to give him a kiss or tell him we love him. It’s hard that he won’t be around to see Lucas and Austin grow up, or to see Jennifer and Brett get married, or to celebrate Father’s Day, or to just take him some dessert because it’s Sunday. There are countless reasons why we miss him. But we are also happy he isn’t in pain anymore. We imagine him walking around in a garden in heaven. He’s probably doing a little fishing there as well. His eyes are twinkling and he’s walking and talking freely. He’s finally at peace. Funeral Services will be held on Monday, February 9, 2015 at 10:30am at the Neill-Schwensen-Rook Funeral Home in Clay Center, KS Officiating the service will be Pastor Sarah Gill Burial will be in Fancy Creek Cemetery, Green, KS Visitation will be held on Sunday, February 8, 2015 from 2-5pm at Neill-Schwensen-Rook Funeral Home Memorials: Clay Center Presbyterian Manor Good Samaritan Fund c/o the funeral home.